Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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