Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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