I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
