I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
