ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
