My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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