Kiss
Puke
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
