Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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