i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
