just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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