sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Help. Why am I so naked?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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