I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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