the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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