I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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