allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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