i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
