it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
