Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
