i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I died a long time ago.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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