if i can run in heels then i can drive
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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