A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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