Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
