id be glad to
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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