I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
There was a lot of him and a little penis
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
