super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
