I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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