i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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