My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
