Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
