OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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