Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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