so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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