smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
