We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
