What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
