your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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