I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
