also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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