you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
