If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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