Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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