If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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