So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
