My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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