too bad you live with your parents still
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
