a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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