Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
