He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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