She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he puts the penis in happiness.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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