If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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