Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
