SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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