No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
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Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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