my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize