Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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