My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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