doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and she was petting her beer can
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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