So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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