So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
