Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
