I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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