i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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